Trying Harder But Still Stuck? It Might Not Be Effort

We are living in a world where something is always competing for our attention.

Notifications. Expectations. Constant comparison.

And without even realising it, we begin measuring ourselves against a “standard” that doesn’t actually exist. How we should be doing. How quickly we should be succeeding. How well we should be coping.

But here is the truth I have seen over and over again in all my years of brain profiling:

There is no “norm.”

I have never had two identical brain profiles. Not once. And I never will.

This is not opinion. This is science. Research in neuroscience shows that no two brains are wired identically. Individual neural pathways are shaped by a combination of genetics, environment, and experience, meaning how we think, process, and respond is uniquely our own. We are wired differently, each of us with our own thinking preferences, strengths, blind spots, and ways of processing the world.

So, when we try to follow someone else’s recipe for success…we are already starting from the wrong place.

When Trying Harder Doesn’t Work

What happens next is something I see often and have experienced personally.

We try harder. We push more. We compare more. And instead of progress, we feel:

• Exhausted

• Frustrated

• Emotionally drained

As someone with a strong R2 preference, I know this space well. I can easily become emotionally pulled into challenges. I want to fix, to help, to make things better. I feel deeply. I care deeply. But that also means:

• I can compare myself more easily

• I can absorb pressure more intensely

• And constant change? That’s not where I thrive

So, when life feels uncertain or unstable, it doesn’t just affect my schedule, it affects my thinking, my energy, and my ability to function at my best. And if I’m honest, I’ve had moments where I’ve felt completely overwhelmed - where no matter how much I was doing, it still felt like I was falling short. And that’s a heavy place to sit in - when effort and results just don’t seem to match. And in those moments, pushing harder is not the answer.

Your Thoughts Are Not Neutral

What we think matters more than we realise.

Our thoughts are not passive, they are active, shaping pathways in the brain. This concept is supported by neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to change and rewire itself based on repeated thoughts and experiences. Work in neuroplasticity, including that of Caroline Leaf, emphasises that what we think quite literally influences the structure and function of our brain over time. Over time, repeated thoughts become patterns and those patterns begin to shape our behaviour and ultimately our results. When we allow thoughts like:

• “I’m falling behind”

• “I’m not doing enough”

• “Everyone else is coping better”

…we are literally training our brain into a stress response. You might recognise this in yourself, lying awake thinking about everything you still need to do, replaying conversations, questioning whether you’re doing enough. But the opposite is also true. When we begin to:

• Challenge those thoughts

• Redirect them

• Replace them with grounded, constructive thinking

We start building healthier neural pathways. This is where real change begins.

Taking Back Control (Especially Before Exams)

With exams approaching, this becomes even more important.

Because success doesn’t come from panic or pressure. It comes from clarity and alignment.

When you understand your brain profile:

• You know how you learn best

• You know where to focus your energy

• You stop wasting time on methods that don’t work for you

You begin to study smarter, not just harder. And just as importantly, you begin to drown out the noise.

These are not complicated strategies, but they are powerful when done consistently

1. Create a Plan (and make it visible) For me, this has been a game changer.

I set a goal for the year, print it out, and place it where I can see it daily. When I feel overwhelmed or distracted, it brings me back.

Even now, when things feel uncertain, I allow myself a few minutes to wobble…and then I reset and get back into the game.

2. Move Your Body Exercise is not just physical, it’s neurological. Exercise increases blood flow to the brain and releases endorphins, which improve mood and cognitive function. It’s one of the simplest ways to reset both mentally and physically. Movement helps:

• Reduce stress hormones

• Improve mood

• Increase focus and mental clarity

Even a short walk outdoors can reset your system.

3. Breathe Intentionally Slow, controlled breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to reduce stress and bring the body back into a state of calm. When stress rises, your breathing becomes shallow. Your brain reads this as danger. A simple reset:

• Inhale for 4 seconds

• Hold for 4 seconds

• Exhale slowly for 6 seconds

Repeat for a few minutes. This signals safety to the brain and helps calm your entire system.

4. Practice Gratitude (Daily)I recently started a gratitude journal, and it has shifted more than I expected. Studies have shown that regular gratitude practice can shift brain activity towards more positive thinking patterns and reduce symptoms of anxiety and stress.

Even on difficult days, there is always something to write down. And the more you look for it, the more you see it. Gratitude helps:

• Reframe your thinking

• Reduce anxiety

• Improve overall mental well-being

5. Prioritise Rest Rest is not a reward, it’s a requirement. During rest and sleep, the brain processes information, consolidates memory, and resets - making it essential for learning and performance. Without it:

• Focus drops

• Emotions become harder to manage

• Productivity decreases

Balance is not optional. It’s essential.

A Final Thought

We are not meant to live in fear, comparison, or constant pressure. We are designed for:

• Power

• Love

• A sound mind

But that starts with understanding how your mind works.

Where This All Comes Together

When you know your brain profile, everything begins to align:

• How you study

• How you make decisions

• How you manage pressure

• How you move forward with confidence

It’s not about becoming someone else. It's about understanding who you already are and using that to your advantage.

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next step…this is where the journey shifts. Because clarity doesn’t come from doing more. It comes from understanding better.

And when you understand how your brain works, everything begins to shift - not just how you cope, but how you show up, how you decide, and how you move forward with confidence, direction, and purpose.